Saturday, January 05, 2008

evolution of thought, of my feminism, of myself.

this is going to be short, sweet, and to the point:

i'm going through a major transformation.

this has been a long time coming, of course. just looking back at my evolution as a feminist, i've changed profoundly. i've become less reactionary, more thoughtful, less intense, more pragmatic, a little more cynical, and, in some ways, a little less radical (but in some ways, slightly more radical).

and i'm still changing. as i should be, because that's what life's about.

with this Inner Bonding therapy that i'm doing now, i'm radically revising and re-forming my life. my outlook on life, my view of myself, my view of what a "revolution" would look like, of what we need, as a society, in order to be healthier. (the website looks a little hokey, i know, but i really couldn't recommend this process highly enough.)

and i'm reading more, more of the things that i should've been reading during college, but couldn't, because i kept getting bogged down by mostly inapplicable (or limitedly applicable) theory (e.g. judith fucking butler). things like The Color of Violence: The Incite! Anthology and brownfemipower's blog, La Chola. things that aren't mainstream-white feminism. things that actually apply to my life, as a not-quite-white, not-quite-passing, not-quite-"enough" (but really, more than enough) queer woman. things that are actually, well, revolutionary.

so i won't be posting for a while, and if i do, it'll be very much about working through my thoughts and theories on what it means to plan and organize this revolution, on what it means to heal this society.

what i want to say most is:
if you happen to read back through old entries, things i've written before, and they strike you as ignorant or less-than-informed or aligned too much with a certain brand of white/mainstream/ineffective/inapplicable feminism, not quite thought through, you're probably correct in your impression. but please don't judge, and don't think that i necessarily still believe all of these things.

i'm a work in progress.
a lot like this movement, this community i'm trying to find / be part of / help to develop / mobilize. for the revolution i'm still trying to figure out.

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