No, seriously.
Real Quotes:
"Lesbianism is about to take over our community. I'm talking about young girls. My son in high school last year tried to go to the prom. He said, 'Dad, I ain't got nobody to take to the prom because all the girls in my class are gay. Ain't but two of 'em straight, and both of them ugly.'"
....
"But … women falling down on another woman, strapping yourself up with something, it ain't real. That thing ain't got no feeling in it. It ain't natural. Anytime somebody got to slap some grease on your behind and stick something in you, it's something wrong with that. Your butt ain't made for that."
....
"No wonder your behind is bleeding. You can't make no connection with a screw and another screw. You need a screw and a nut."
....
"The situation is so grave that it should be declared a national emergency."
A great, great sermon, if you ask me.
There are more links at the pandagon post linked to above, but there's a Flash animation that someone made over at somethingawful.com that's absolutely fucking fabulous, and you MUST check it out.
Go here for the Flash animation.
(Note: I had to re-load the page numerous times before I got the whole thing to play...if it doesn't loop back to the beginning, you haven't heard the whole thing yet. And believe me, you NEED to hear the whole thing.)
Also, I don't know what kind of (bad) lesbian porn he's been watching, but usually, when lesbians strap themselves up, the point of entry is the vagina, not the anus. I'm not saying that some lesbians don't also enjoy the anal sex, but that's not really the "typical" lesbian sex act. I think he may be getting his homosexuals mixed up a bit...
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